Odd Things About Capitalists

When the stock market flies high, they don't want government interference. They want to be left alone to make their profits.

But

When the market crashes, they scream for the government to do something to halt the slide.

When they set up factories, they want the freedom to sell their products to whom they like at the rate they like.

But

When they set up their factories, they would like the government to get land at gunpoint if necessary and hand it over to them at subsidised payments, and that, too, deferred.

They scream about governments providing free or subsidised power and tax relief to farmers.

But

Wouldn't mind, in fact lobby hard, for free power and tax holidays for themselves.

They constantly praise the "efficiency" of capitalism , to wit, it allows only the fittest to survive.

But

They urge laws against the logical culmination of such an economic "survival of the fittest" strategy, the creation of monopolies like Microsoft for example.

They say capitalism will help everyone through the trickle down effect.

But

They will try and pay their workers the tiniest pittance they can get away with.

They say capitalism is inherently fairer than socialism because of its "people friendly nature".

But

They would make services "user payable", which means anyone not able to pay for something would not be able to use it. Check your bank balance before calling the private fire brigade, people! 

They promote free trade when it's they who are doing the exporting.

But

When someone else is exporting to them at a lower cost, then you see tariff barriers reach sky high.

They say socialism breeds corruption.

But

They have no problems making money from no bid contracts, warmongering, bribing politicians, and polluting and raping the environment for short term profit.

They want patent protection for their inventions and ideas.

But

When they can, they are more than happy to steal someone else's ideas for their own use.

Maybe I'm just stupid, or maybe I'm missing something, or maybe I'm a dinosaur who's out of touch with the realities of the world.

Or maybe capitalism is just plain crazy after all.